WOOOO....Talk about a long hiatus. It has almost been a year since I have blogged. The truth is that I have been hiding from myself and from you too. My life literally got turned upside down and I just had no idea how to deal with it, and was not ready to communicate it to anyone, and I was not even saying what was so for me out loud.
What happened? I had a few key relationships in my life fall apart and because I made those failed relationships mean that I failed, I was a failure, and that I was broken I acted as such. I did not do much with myself this year. All the beautiful goals, dreams, ambitions and desires that I had, I let them go. I lost sight of them, I lost sight of myself and as a result I was sad more often than I wanted to be. I didn't keep my word with my closest friends, I did not fulfill on my greatness. I hid behind the excuses of parenting, tiredness and no time for life. The truth was that I was so broken that I did not know how to put myself back together. In addition to being sad, I made myself wrong for being sad. I would reach out to friends a little bit but I did not share with them the depth of my pain and my sadness. I just couldn't. I couldn't share with the people closest to me because I was ashamed that my life had failed. I made up that if I failed it meant that I was unworthy of my joy. I did something to destroy my happiness and therefore I was being punished and I deserved it.
How crazy was I? After my pastor's poignant sermon this past Sunday I realized that I was stuck. However, she had the perfect cure for my stuckness, she said "Just Start." Two simple words that meant everything to me. Just Start doing what I needed to do in order to fulfill on my greatness. Just start talking to people about my my business so that it can grow. Just start putting pen to paper and creating a program that will undoubtedly change public schools forever. Just start sharing my power, love and happiness with the people in my life so that they are CLEAR that who I am is the possibility of abundant love, power and freedom. My life is mine for the making. It is mine for creating. It is mine to make the best of it and to do it well. I just needed to start.
I'm Born To Fly Miss J!!!!!!
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