Black Girl Pain (For Wombyn of Color)

This is my review and reception of Tyler Perry's For Colored Girls.

Umm Hmm

Yes my sistas

This movie had me exhaling like I was waiting for Whitney, Angela, and Lela

To join Juantia as she kicked him out for the last time

Yes my sistas

Those of you who have been raped

By

Daddy

Uncle

Cousin

Stepdaddy

Neighbour

Cousin

Friend

Lover

This is for you

This is for you

Who have grieved in silence

Making to be felt slutty

For being the survivor

Of a crime

Committed against sistas across the globe

From Alberquerque to The Congo

From Brooklyn to Sudan

From Trinidad to Chile

From your own home

To a gang rape

This is for you

No shame!!!

This is for you whose mama deserted you

And so called boyfriend

Didn't want you to have it

Didn't want that child that could be

A beautiful braniac

But unlike Ms. Hill you didn't get to keep Zion

You were forced to spread ya legs

On a dirty bed

And convince yourself

That the seed growing inside of you

Had to die

In order for you to survive

But you die anyway

Because you killed your chance

At a do over

Killed your chance at life

That day two souls died

Yes sistas this is for you

This is for you sista who was betrayed

By the man who said he loved you

He said that he cared for you like he cared for his momma

Who he put in a nursing home

And hadn't seen since

He says he loves you to death

And he means it

As he sleeps around town

Not covering his pride

But going raw

Into someone who isn't you

He spreads his pride and widens his grin

As he lies through his teeth

And says it work

So where do you work

That causes me to feel ill?

Everytime you come home you smell of someone other than me....

You're always sorry

Yes you're sorry

And sorry is what you'll always be

Sistas this too is for you

This is especially for you sista who say you got no pain

You're a G

A female pimp

Cuz you got men figured out

Fuck em and leave em

That's how they do us

That's how they pimp us out

And use us till we are dry

We fuck em and leave em

I was only after his wallet anyway

I can see in your eyes that you're tired

Of sleeping around

Lustily getting it in

But painfully craving a loving relationship

That you're scared to admit

Because the risk of being that vulnerable again

Will kill you

You can't handle dying like that anymore

So you become a lady of the night

Secretly awaiting Mr. Right

Sista this is for you

Yes this is true to life

A story about black girl pain

Deeper than the watery graves of our ancestors in the mid Atlantic

This is sharper

Than birth pains

In cotton fields

In Mississippi

In the middle of a humid night

Darker than hot blood

Dripping down the legs

Of that eight year old

Spread open

By the rapist she calls dad

Yes my sistas this is the pain

And the healing

All wrapped into one

And if you have to ask how

Then perhaps you should ask

Your....

Mama

Sister

Cousin

Auntie

Best friend

Sista

Let them tell you bout that Black Girl Pain

It's no joke!

For Wombyn of Color everywhere.

Black Girl Pain by Talib Kweli feat. Jean Grae

Beautiful...Beautiful...Black Men...This is for you!!!!!!

Originally I was going to blog about something else, but I was sitting here daydreaming about my husband and that triggered something inside of me.I have a deep sense of love and appreciation for brothas and I figure, hey, why not let the world know.

Lets start with the great and the obvious. Black men in every shade is just beautiful. The poetry that lives in the skin, swagger and style of black men is what makes me smile and melt every time.They come in all professions, some legal, some not and some of them are self employed but anyway you a slice it, a hard working brotha is just a beautiful sight. Lately I have been reading all these different posts, and articles about the death of the black man, and forget black men because they only want to exploit sistas, and  how they are always in jail and so on and so forth. Although there is some truth in there about the tribulations of SOME brothers, NOT all of them are bad, on trial and should be thrown away.

This blog is dedicated to brothas period! I don't know what it's like growing up as a Black man in America. I do know though that wherever brothas grow up, there is a stereotype that follows. If he's the sole brotha in a milky white town, he's either the savior or the devil in someone's eyes. He can never just be him, out of the scrutiny of someone. Brothas growing up in the hood, now we all know the stereotypes there; He's bad. He's going to do be bad if he don't stop hanging out with these bad boys. Or the opposite for the quiet and studious ones. He's a nerd, he too quiet, maybe he gay. Lastly, if he's really cute then he's too conceited or he's a player or some girls are always going to fight over him. Can a brotha just live?

I have often wondered though what a brotha thinks about when he is encountered with these plethora of stereotypes daily. I wonder if some of them ever make him cry and want to get away from all the hype. I think of the ones who walked down the wrong path and wonder if it would have been different for them if they could do it over again. I wonder if some of these young guys feel terrible when they are on trial for murder, they must. I truly believe that everyone is born with innocence and something corrupts that innocence and they take a less than desirable path.Is there enough nurturing for young, black boys? Recently I read a case about a father punching his six year old in his chest because he couldn't fall asleep. He punched him repeatedly until he had a seizure and died, all the while his father screaming "Man up" at him. Could that be the issue? Young black boys have to man up because their environment says that they have to before their times? Just questions I have in my mind.

The black men that I have in my life are pretty stellar. Many of them are amazing fathers and husbands. They have beaten the odds of going to prison and dead at a premature age. They hold down careers and are constantly improving. They support their communities by mentoring and giving monetarily. I am grateful for that reality. I honor these men because they have gone above and beyond to make sure that they are not a stereotype. They have satisfied their own personal goals and have made their families proud. These brothas did what they knew was right and I am proud to know them. There are the other brothas who took a path that lead them to a lifetime of Central Booking, prisons and running from the police. I could say they make brothas look bad, but it's not about looking bad at this point. It's about supporting the little ones who are at a high risk of falling into a criminal lifestyle. Those same brothas who made it out of the hood or who made it out of the suburbs with a clean or not so clean police record have a duty to mentor a young boy who is at risk. It will alter his world, not just because a brotha is in his life, but a brotha with the same circumstances but chose a successful path.

I know not every brotha will be like the ones in Tyler Perry's movies but those men do exist. There are those brothas who do some unpleasant things for a number of years and then something changes in their lives and they change for good. Then there are those brothas who lose their lives to prison, drugs, crime and eventually death. Despite where in the spectrum brothas fall, we still need to show them love and honor them. We meaning sistas. I know some people will say that brothas play games, and they play sistas and they are no good and they are dead beats. However, what we need to remember is that they were not always that way, nor were we. At some point in time there was a beautiful coexistence between brothas and sistas and something happened. Something happened that divided the Black family and we turned on each other. We even hated each other and it has become very evident from the way that we speak to each other. Based on speaking to both men and women I have concluded that both parties want the same thing. To be loved with no judgment, not to be confused with to be loved and NOT taught. Both brothas and sistas want these things from each other, but somehow some sistas think that brothas don't have the courage to give them that and some brothas think that sistas are too far removed that they don't even bother.

STOP IT!!!!!!! Everybody needs to stop fronting like they don't need love. Both parties, sistas and brothas. We have all these groups that have popped up placing money over each other and blasting the message that brothas/sistas ain't shit. Really? So if we are all hating on each other, but still desiring a relationship then how do we expect that to happen if everybody is fronting like they hate each other? I understand that there is pain in everyone's past that has probably left some damage in your heart and spirit but one has to remember that not every man is the same. No and I will repeat that, not every man or woman is the same. If you really think about it, if YOU keep encountering the same thing time after time and YOU keep ending up with the same end result and if the common denominator is YOU then could it possibly be that YOU are the same, and YOU have not learned from your previous mistakes and YOU are looking to recreate every relationship to fashion the first? Brothas and sistas, whether it's going to take growing up, altering your thought process and realizing that we are here for each other something must be done. We cannot continue saying that we do not need each other, YES WE DO. The Black family unit is looking to make a strong comeback and we need more younger couples to make that happen.

I was guilty in my former years of saying that brothas weren't worthy. However, a few of my brothers were my reality check on brothas and I realize that I am the source of everything in my life and I had to alter ME. Once I got that I had to clean up my mental and shift my thoughts towards the positive for ME....my whole world opened up. I met all kinds of great brothas, and not even for dating, but just meeting to have conversation. When I met my husband we had great conversations. We talked about past relationships, the black family unit, and we were real with each other. No masks, no hiding, just kept it 100% through tears, truth and sitting on the hopes of creating a very strong, structured family. It is possible for everyone if they allow themselves to be vulnerable and at peace with the chatter in their minds. This blog is about brothas but I cannot possibly write about brothas and not include sistas. We need each other. We need that family unit once again. We need to raise our kids in unity and not every man for themselves. We need to build dynasties again, so that our children can stop dying before their times.

I love BEAUTIFUL BLACK MEN AND WOMEN AS WELL.

Dedicated to my husband, Mr. J.Sylvan : )