Let It Go

I am learning a lot about myself and the more I learn is the more I appreciate the person I have become. I am getting to the source of my anger towards certain people. What keeps coming up is that I am not really angry but deeply hurt. I don't think I have any new pain but just wounds that have never healed from a long time ago. I also learn that I keep those wounds really fresh. There is a part of me that is addicted to my pain and my suffering. I've had these wounds for so long that they have become a part of me that I cannot live without. That needs to change.

The biggest part of my healing will come from me letting go of these painful memories that reoccur constantly. When anything in my life doesn't go as plan, I contribute it to something from my past that needs to get complete. I just have not been willing to do the work. I know that having conversations with certain people will free me from this emotional prison I have put myself in but I have yet to work up the courage to do so. I know what I need to do and I'm committed to doing it but I am scared. I have a fear that I will say what I have to say and I will be met with animosity, more pain and rejection. Oddly enough a part of me will be just fine with that. I realize though that just by me writing this I am a step closer to my freedom.

I realize that in order to be the most effective life coach, I must take my own coaching. I cannot effectively coach in closure, and completion until I master these things first. I am committed to my own personal growth and healing. I am clear that once I get free and clear of those things lurking in my past I will be able to be truly live the life that I want. That alone makes my heart smile.

The life that I will have once my painful past is complete will be a life filled with the right to be happy and not having to wonder if what I'm experiencing is too good to be true. I will be able to be present to my blessings, my joy and my happiness and I will relish in those moments. Life is too good to consumed by my past pains, it's just a slap in the face to my present and my present is in fact a gift. The best gift in the entire world.

I want the same freedom that I want for myself to everyone that I come into contact with. It's so sad to live a life holding on to a grudge or not willing to forgive. Anytime we choose not to forgive we are only destroying ourselves. Not forgiving is like holding on to a fire, waiting to burn the person who hurt you but in the mean time you are burning yourself up. Why? For what? Let your past go, leave it there and live your present powerfully.

Tahira

Phone: (201)500-7146
Email:PurePeaceLC@gmail.com
Facebook:www.facebook.com/purepeacelifecoaching
Twitter:@PurePeaceLC

OWN YOUR HAPPINESS

"Something Like Beautiful" the poignant novel by asha bandele has been a hot topic between a friend and I. asha talks openly about her pain from lost relationships, losing her own sense of self, managing money to make ends meet and being the best parent possible to her child. Many women deal with these issues very silently. We work hard, but grieve harder by ourselves, late at night, in our beds and crying our eyes out. We choose to wear cookie cutter smiles but our eyes give our pain away to those who truly know us. They may inquire if they are bold enough, but we always respond with that same answer, "I am just tired." However, even though being tired isn't a lie, the level of tiredness goes deeper than perhaps even we know. The level of sadness when we as women are mourning when we feel like we have lost ourselves is a monumental. Especially when we know that we have children to take care of, we put their needs first, we take care of them and even the people close to us, we give of ourselves to a fault. We wear ourselves out and expend all of our energy until we have nothing left but tears, pain and memories of dreams we once believed would come true.

Why do we do this? What causes us to hide from ourselves? Why do we lie to ourselves? My guess is that we are deeply ashamed of our blunders. We examine our lives and wonder, what on earth happened here? How did I stray so far from my goal? Well, what happened is that we were out of integrity with ourselves. At some point we started putting off the goals that we set for ourselves by lying, making ourselves tired and giving up on our goals, dreams, hopes and ambitions. We settle for second best knowing that we deserve to be first. We cater to men who do not deserve us. We self sabotage and then point the fingers at others to somehow soften the blow of selling out on ourselves. Eventually because we forgot how to relate to ourselves as Goddesses and Queens we settle for the treatment not even fit for peasants and we cry really hard about it. We feel sorry for ourselves. We start to hate on other women for no reason because perhaps she has the body that you always wanted, but never allowed yourself to have. We hate men because they have treated us badly, dishonored us and threw us away. However, what we never, ever, ever say to ourselves is "I allowed it." No one can do anything to you that you do not give them permission to do. We start with tiny bits of compromising and soon enough that turns into a us giving up on the person who we really want to be, and for what? To cry alone in bed at night throwing the biggest pity party ever? GIMME A BREAK!!!!

As women we have a very high threshold for pain. We are built for war, there is no doubt about that. What we need to start doing is appreciating ourselves. I don't mean just saying it, but doing it. Take time to see where you are. Take an honest inventory of your life and see what parts you keep and what parts you throw away. Do not keep anything that doesn't serve you and that includes people, things, habits and patterns. We are worth everything great under the sun but you have to honestly believe that. You have to be clear that your life won't work the way you need it to work until you are honest with yourself. The honesty may be brutal, it may even be painful but at least you will know the truth about yourself. Until you clean out the junk and the muck that has accumulated in your space you will be putting pearls on a pile of shit. That we all know is counter productive. Strip down bare, naked, vulnerable, hold nothing back and just be open with yourself. What do you see? Who do you see?

Life is yours for the taking and the living. Live it powerfully. Leave the grief, sadness and the pain at the door. Leave your past at the door and your future in the future. Focus on the present. The present is a gift and it is the perfect opportunity to create something beautiful for yourself. I cannot tell you what it will take to make you happy. I don't know what you need, nor will I ever know and no one but you will either. You have decide what is more important to you, a life filled with grief or a life well spent even if you had to start over in the middle? Every moment is an opportunity for you to start your life anew. You have to be willing to do it. No one is going to make you as happy as you can make yourself. Take the time to work on yourself and invest in yourselves too. You are worth it. You are as Goddess and a Queen and you deserve nothing short of royalty. Own your happiness. Own it!!

If you are interested in unlocking some of the gems inside of you and you are seriously ready to invest in yourself drop me a line.

Tahira West
201-500-7146
PurePeaceLC@gmail.com
www.facebook.com/purepeacelifecoaching
@PurePeaceLC  on Twitter

JUST START

 WOOOO....Talk about a long hiatus. It has almost been a year since I have blogged. The truth is that I have been hiding from myself and from you too. My life literally got turned upside down and I just had no idea how to deal with it, and was not ready to communicate it to anyone, and I was not even saying what was so for me out loud.
        
What happened? I had a few key relationships in my life fall apart and because I made those failed relationships mean that I failed, I was a failure, and that I was broken I acted as such. I did not do much with myself this year. All the beautiful goals, dreams, ambitions and desires that  I had, I let them go. I lost sight of them, I lost sight of myself and as a result I was sad more often than I wanted to be. I didn't keep my word with my closest friends, I did not fulfill on my greatness. I hid behind the excuses of parenting, tiredness and no time for life. The truth was that I was so broken that I did not know how to put myself back together. In addition to being sad, I made myself wrong for being sad. I would reach out to friends a little bit but I did not share with them the depth of my pain and my sadness. I just couldn't. I couldn't share with the people closest to me because I was ashamed that my life had failed. I made up that if I failed it meant that I was unworthy of my joy. I did something to destroy my happiness and therefore I was being punished and I deserved it.
                
How crazy was I? After my pastor's poignant sermon this past Sunday I realized that I was stuck. However, she had the perfect cure for my stuckness, she said "Just Start." Two simple words that meant everything to me. Just Start doing what I needed to do in order to fulfill on my greatness. Just start talking to people about my my business so that it can grow. Just start putting pen to paper and creating a program that will undoubtedly change public schools forever. Just start sharing my power, love and happiness with the people in my life so that they are CLEAR that who I am is the possibility of abundant love, power and freedom. My life is mine for the making. It is mine for creating. It is mine to make the best of it and to do it well. I just needed to start.

In 2012 I plan on working harder than I have ever worked in my life. I am going to grow my business by leaps and bounds because my word is powerful and I ALWAYS get what I want. I am also committed to making people's lives brighter. I want FREEDOM for every single mom, woman, girl, man...any person who thinks that they have nothing to offer, I want to show them that they matter and they are capable of any and everything.I want to show them that they are beautiful and fully capable of having anything that they want. I want to inspire people who think that the world doesn't want them. I want to inspire women who think that they are unlovable. I want to work with men who think that they are broken and who think they have nothing to offer. I want to work with children who have been damaged by the world. I WILL work with them, bring them to the light and give them not only a Purely Peaceful frame of mind but FREEDOM to simply be comfortable in their own skin. This is why I do the work that I do...giving people the RIGHT to be comfortable in their OWN SKIN!!!!!!

I am back. I am back to bring you inspirational blogs. I am back to bring joy back into your life by my inspirational words. I am back on my mission to BUILD MY EMPIRE and NOTHING is going to stop me. I am the possibility of ABUNDANT LOVE, FREEDOM and FIERY PASSION. I am WHOLE, COMPLETE, CAPABLE and WORTHY of having everything that I desire.

With Love,


Tahira West


C.E.O


Pure Peace Life Coaching

The People United Will Never Be Defeated!!!!

Yes, it is so true that if the masses were to come together as a unified body, we would get what we wanted. It is a proven fact that when people move as a group more gets done. This applies to everything from healing wounds to overthrowing a government. In the past week Egyptians of all ages have over taken the streets to protest the long time reign of their president. They want a change and they are going to have their voices be heard no matter what the cost, some went as far as lighting themselves on fire. Now, that is serious.

Why is this topic relevant to life coaching? Well, most of my clients have a consistent complaint about one thing or the other. Actually, it isn't just my clients but it is basically everyone I know, myself included. In NYC the persistent complaint currently is about the fare hike affecting all NYC strap-hangers.  The fare has for a monthly metro card has gone from $81 to $104. That is a huge increase, affecting everyone who rides the subway, many people have sounded off on it, but there was no real action taken around STOPPING the increase. I get that the MTA created some venues for the citizens to voice their concerns, however considering that they created the meeting and they chose the venue and the panel was all of their employees what does that sounding do? What does it change? Clearly nothing because the fare still went up. What else could have been done? Well, the masses outweigh the MTA bigwigs. If we don't ride the trains and the buses and the subway drivers and the bus drivers refuse to drive, guess what happens? NYC will come to a stand still and these bigwigs will have to think twice about messing with the hard working people of the city.

 Complaints are forever a part of life, but the complaints can turn into action for almost every area of life. You cannot wait for someone else to give you the answer, you have to be the answer. If you;re waiting for someone to rally the troops and you're getting agitated while waiting, then we have been waiting for you. If the tolls are way too high, then as a public we stop paying the tolls by not driving. Yes, it may hurt our pockets for a moment, yes we may not be able to get to work for a while but the complaint will no longer be there because as a PEOPLE the issue will have gotten resolved.

The people on this planet are all connected by love and there is freedom in love. The citizens of every country should be able to maintain a livable wage, and there should not be any signs of poverty anywhere on this planet. Leaders in every country should be able to take pay cuts so that its citizens can be free and at peace. That said, Egypt...I am with you. I respect what you are doing and I hope you get what you need.

POWER TO THE PEOPLE!!!!

A NEW YEAR...A NEW YOU...REALLY?

Why do people always state at the beginning of every year that this is their year? What were you doing in the previous year that had you NOT make it your year? Come on people, what are you waiting for to take control of your life?

New Year's Resolutions are so cliche and all of you know it. If you had a weak follow through in the previous year what makes you think that you will be able to organize yourself to follow through this year? Did you imagine yourself being where you are ten years ago? What have you accomplished? What do you have to show for your life up to this point? If the answers to any of these questions bother you then perhaps its time you start living the life that you want.

Set realistic goals for yourself. If you know you have to go on a diet please DO NOT try to lose fifty pounds in a month. Not every diet works for everyone. Also, just because you saw it on tv it does not mean it is right for YOU. Ask yourself why are you losing this weight? If the answer has NOTHING to do with your own happiness then squash that plan quick.

Secondly, team work is awesome. Enroll your closest friends to support you with your goals. Tell people so that when you know you are gonna slip you have a crew of people around you to catch you before you fall.

If you mess up on one of your goals it's okay. Don't beat yourself up please. Start over!!!!!!! Get back on the horse and do not stay down. Again, utilize the people around you, that's what they are there for.

People, don't wait for 2011to be the year where all of your dreams come true. The key to long lasting success is resilience and integrity. If you have integrity in your life you can never fail. Honor your word as it is golden, sacred and bond. If you don't honor your word, then you don't honor yourself and as a result you do not and will not honor others. Now, integrity matched with resilience is a fool proof plan. Keep on keeping on and DO NOT let your circumstances get in the way of your goals. Circumstances will always arise, but that's all they are. Who will you be in the face of it? A sucker or a kick ass grinder. Step up or get left back.

I Love You But I LOVE ME MORE

I often wonder what people mean when they say that they love someone more than themselves. I wouldn't want someone to love me more than they love themselves because that love must certainly be questionable. Loving oneself is the greatest gift you can ever give yourself. Loving yourself frees you from tolerating nonsense and standing up for yourself. Loving yourself allows you to be real with yourself and others without hesitation even if it means loving the people from a distance.

This year was one that changed my life forever. I got married, had my first child, started my own company and let go of two people who I was once very close to. I am not ashamed to say that I love these two people but life has taken us to separate life journeys. I have no problem moving away from friendships that are no longer age appropriate nor mentally fulfilling. I can't speak for them but having a child has opened my eyes to the kind of people I want in my life and the people that I don't. It's as simple as that. I hold no hard feelings, no malice, no harm intended but some people I choose to love from a distance and that is okay with me.

How many times have people made you feel guilty for making a choice that's best for you but not necessarily best for them? They can feel however they want but YOU have to remember that you're the star player in your life and you must look out for your best interest. Whether it's choosing to leave a relationship, friendship or job if you're not happy you have to make the move that will allow your bliss to flow. Staying in any situation that makes you unhappy or uncomfortable cannot possibly end well. Neither party appreciates being jerked around, and as much as parting ways may hurt at the time it is probably best for everyone. Keep in mind that people get hurt and they will say things from that place that are truthful for them. I was told that my love is conditional, I make rules but don't play by them, I'm a hypocrite, I don't really know what love is and plenty more. What I've taken away from those opinions is that they are just that, opinions. Did they hurt? Yes! Was I upset? Yes! Did I vent about it? Yes! Did it break me? No!!!! Hell no!! What it did was allow me to take a look at myself from their point of view. I admit that I have a way about me that can occur as cold and unwilling to check myself if you're looking for it to be like that. However, what is the truth and what will never change is that I love my friends dearly and I will do anything for them. However, once I evaluate a friendship and it seems one sided or something is gone that cannot be replaced nor retrieved I bow out. I bow out in peace and wish them the best. Contrary to their beliefs I'm very critical of myself and I take a long hard meditation to fully grasp the situation. Things don't always go the way I want them to, I don't always say things with the most amount of compassion but the love is always there. Always!!

I shared about me so openly because there is freedom in it. I love myself and I love the person I have become and I'm never afraid to say that. I hope all my readers will also do the same by facing yourself and not being afraid to discover the parts of yourself that need polishing but you love you anyway. If you guys can practice loving yourself, flaws and all you'll have an easier time walking away from situations that you no longer want to be a part of. I'll say it again, you have to love you more than you love anyone else in order to be a truly unconditional lover. We only have one life to live and to love. Why would you want to waste it being miserable and uncomfortable? We shouldn't. Love others but love you more.


Want practice in loving yourself?

Call me: (201) 500-7146
Email me: PurePeaceLC@gmail.com
Visit my website: www.purepeacewithlove.com

ENOUGH!!!!!!

"Love will never hurt. Love won't hurt you with hands, words or deeds. If you feel pain and you think that you have to stick it out because of love, you are taking love away from yourself. Love heals, love builds, love comforts, love brings you to honesty, love brings you to a place of peace. Anytime pain is introduced,... that is the absence of love. Take care of yourself."

                                                              ---- Tahira West-Sylvan

When is it time to say enough? I am through! I have had it! I am leaving and I am not coming back! The answer is anytime. Anytime you want to say enough is when you say it. Will you? Now that is a different matter all together.

I had to explore why people stay so long in situations that they dislike. Of course in order to get a reasonable answer I had to look at myself. Why do I tolerate certain situations for a long time before I say enough? I think as a child I never really told. I didn't tell on my friends or my cousins when they did something bad, I just watched. As an adult that has gotten me into situations that could have been avoided had I put my foot down and said ENOUGH but I just tolerate the nonsense. Finally I said to myself, I am worth so much more than taking someone's shit. I am worth more than anyone's short comings, I am worth more than having to take someone's shit because they feel badly about themselves. I AM NO ONE'S PUNCHING BAG, physically or emotionally.

So for my readers I ask, why do you take someone's crap? Why do you let them abuse you because they feel bad about them? What's that about? Could it be that you stay because you think that is what love is. Could it be that you think that you have to endure and suffer to say that you have love? Could it be that without that kind of pain you don't feel valid? There could be a series of things and YOU have to find what it is. I encourage and urge you to become so deeply invested in yourself that you will feel like you are in love all over again. What does that kind of love look like? Well for starters, you put your foot down and say ENOUGH. Don't just say enough and bluff but say enough and walk away. Take a day, a week, a month, whatever it takes to get back to you. Fall in love with yourself again by reminding yourself that you are your number one. You have to remember why you are wonderful, beautiful and worthy of all things good. Take long walks with yourself, talk to yourself, pamper yourself. All of those things are wonderful but none of them will matter until you can FORGIVE YOURSELF and MASTER YOUR THOUGHTS.

Forgive yourself for allowing you to be abused, mistreated and for not standing up for yourself. Forgive yourself for straying far away from who you are and for forgetting to lift yourself up everyday. You forgive yourself and then you stuff yourself with beautiful thoughts. You design what you want your life to look like, figure out what your life needs and flood yourself with ways to getting what you need. Just as simply as you allowed yourself to get lost, and tell yourself lies....well its is just as simple to find yourself and be real with you. Be real YOU! Find You!  Love you! Invest in you!

I understand that I didn't provide you with the easiest concepts in the world here but I am willing to work with you. This blog is a guide but my coaching is transformational. You need support finding yourself? You need support saying ENOUGH? Reach out to me, the realest and most compassionate life coach.

Email: Purepeacelc@gmail.com
Phone: 201-500-7146
Website: www.purepeacewithlove.com