Forbidden Fruit

Why is the forbidden fruit so incredibly enticing all the time? It is the one thing that EVERYONE knows is bad for them, yet they cannot resist it. I myself am guilty of that in two specific areas; food and men. I love food, all kinds of food, and it just happens that the more unhealthy is, the more I would flock to it. This clearly has been my detriment because I am severely overweight and I did not have the zeal to work off my food addictions, so the weight kept on coming. I have the same mentality about men. There are men who I have known that were not good for me, yet still I flocked to them like bees to flowers. What on earth was wrong with me?

I know that if anyone tells me I can't that makes me defy them and show them that I can. Even if it was to my detriment, I was not going to be proven wrong under any circumstances. Therefore, I did what I thought was building my character, but instead I was only feeding my ego and neglecting my divinity. I can see that as clear as day now, and I can say confidently that I have no regrets. I realize that I had to live these lessons in order to overstand and truly appreciate what it is like to think with clarity and the consciousness that my body is a temple. My mind is a temple. My spirituality is a temple and I need to take care of myself and treat myself royally because I am a loved child of God. There is nothing that I have to prove to anyone. My vision is treat myself well and to keep using my thoughts to give rise to actions that correlate with my ascension into divinity and to honor myself and honor God.

I now would look at soda or fried foods, and I  can think that it may smell good or look good but it is NOT good for me. It doesn't add anything to my body that will promote a clear mind. It doesn't add any value that would keep my body active or keep my metabolism going. Unhealthy food is such a detriment to me now, that I look back and wonder how did I get so far removed from my true self. Why did I pick up these unhealthy eating habits? The truth is that I never knew any other way. I ate what was there without truly giving thought to what it may be doing to my body. I just ate. Now, that I am aware and I do have the consciousness to choose what goes into my temple, I honestly don't even crave those healthy things anymore. My body rejects the mere thought of it.

The same goes for toxic men. I was just choosing wrong guy after wrong guy because I was attracting takers. I thought that if I gave of myself, time, energy and love to these men, perhaps one day they would see my worth and in turn decide to reciprocate the same kinds of feelings. I thought that perhaps they would give me the energy and time and love that I had been putting in. However, that never happened. They never saw. They took all that I had to offer, without returning anything into my emotional bank and I was BROKE. I mean I poured all of my energy into these men who were not deserving and I was broke, drained, dried up, spent and just finished. I would look back on these relationships and wonder what happened? How did I allow myself to not be loved and treated the way that I wanted to? The answer was in front of me all along. I was giving these men what I should have been giving to myself. I should have been pouring all that time, love and energy into building myself up and not giving it to them. They took my energy and used their own to pour it into themselves and into other women. I was so blinded by the PROSPECT of love that I never let the prospect grow into ACTUAL love. I left them at bay and as a result I got to be closed off, blocked off and not really open up at all. I invested so much in them that I stopped them from really getting a glimpse at me. I never gave them an opportunity to cater to me or to really wow me or sweep me off of my feet because I chose to do all the work. It was safer for me that way. I am a keeper and holder of EVERYONE'S secrets and that is what I am good at, but NO ONE knows any of my secrets, not really and that has kept me really safe but lonely this entire time. I keep people away, because if I opened up, then what would I have to give if it looks as though I am broken too? I am supposed to have it together and be the healer. Healers have no pain, we are healed, we were born this way, no issues at all... Yea, right!

Clearly, I know that all healers have a past, and yes they did heal but it did not happen overnight. What I am learning is to let go of my obsession of getting it right, looking good and being a perfectionist because that is so inauthentic. The person that is here today has been through a series of things, hurts, pain, tribulations, bottom of the barrel and everything else any person has been through. I too have those moments that would make someone gasp if I told them the entire story of some of my lessons. However, those lessons are what makes me so incredibly powerful now. Those lessons are what makes me a healer, and a compassionate listener, judgement free. Who I am now is a womyn that is still a work in progress but I understand now that my entire life is for a purpose. I am here for a purpose, and that purpose is to heal. I am here to heal all those who want and need it. I can do that by sharing my story and helping others to get to the other side of pain.

Contact me for a free consultation.
Visit me on the web at www.purepeacelifecoaching.com

I look forward to hearing from you.

Tahira

Valentine's Day is EVERYDAY : )

I have been seeing the most melancholy status updates on Facebook and Twitter about VDAY. Come on people, come on, it is just a day!!! Not having a Valentine will NOT kill you. There are many people with Valentine sweethearts who are absolutely miserable. Okay, so what do we do here for all the broken hearts? Let's create : )

First, the love that you seek is within YOU. You must look inside of your beautiful self and see a being who is absolutely worthy of love. You do this by feeding yourself daily affirmations.

I am perfect.
I am whole.
I am complete.
I am worthy.
I am deserving.

You really want to get very clear that these things are true about you DESPITE what your past says. Your past could have damaged you, perhaps even traumatized many of you but your past is just that, the past. Here we are, in the present, which is the best gift of all. You have the opportunity to create a love that is abundant, long lasting, beautiful and that will survive past one flimsy Valentine day. Get present to the idea that VDAY is a commercial holiday. It means only what you make it mean. What good is VDAY  without the other 365 days (Leap year) being filled with absolute love and happiness?

We attract those on the same wavelength as us. So for all of you people who keep saying that you are finding these terrible dates, I am going to encourage you to look within yourself and see what it is about YOU that keeps attracting the same people over and over again. You must raise your vibration and change your thought process in order to attract who you truly want. However, in addition to attracting the right man /woman you must be clear that your life is ready to receive them. Is your space clear and clutter free? Are you in alignment with your higher self? Have you been praying and mediating? Are you taking care of your temple which includes you mind, body and spirit? Are you diligently working on your elevation? All of these things matter tremendously but NOTHING is more important that self work. Self work is what will make EVERYTHING in your life work or not work.

Consider that you can easily attract a valentine, sure. However, what are you committed to? Short term satisfaction or long term love. Long term love takes work, however if done correctly long term love can produce the most euphoric, delicious, wonderful love that can feel like St. Valentine's Day every single day. Check your thoughts. Observe your behavior. What more self work could you be doing? Do NOT obsess over finding love, it will find you at the appropriate time. In the mean time, work on yourself and constantly find ways to elevate yourself. Life is good and it's so much sweeter with love. There is no greater love than self love, once you have that, you can be in the most fulfilling relationship of your life.

Interested in a free consult?

Visit my website: www.purepeacelifecoaching.com

CREATION

To create is to give birth to something from nothing. We as human beings have absolute control and free will over what we create from our minds. Our thoughts is the place where creation is born and the rest of body follows suit. Thoughts give rise to actions.  In other words, whatever we think will show up in the way that we behave and carry ourselves. Everyday we are creating something, but how many of us actually pay attention to our thoughts?

I always ask my clients, "What do you want?" I get a variety of answers, but when I ask what are thinking that is stopping you from getting these things that you want? I am usually met with silence. They are not sure usually. I pose the question to you reading this blog, what do you want? What thought is stopping you from getting what you want? Everything and anything that can happen is created from our word. Our word is simply the manifestation of a thought. I have observing many people say I want love but there are no good men or women out there. Two things can happen with that mentality; 1. You will CONTINUE to attract no good men/women because that's the thought you have put out into the universe. Or you will be single for a while because you won't be attracting anyone to you because you think men/women are no good and you'll put up a wall so high that no one will be able to climb over, leaving you single and bitter. What you resist will persist. Keep saying I don't want a bad man/woman, and that is exactly what you will attract.

Okay, so how do you create what you want? Well, it takes practice. I was in the practice for many years talking about what I did not want. what I did not like, what I did not need and all of those things kept showing up. I thought maybe I was cursed or something. What I know now is that I am EXTREMELY powerful and whatever I thought would manifest into my life. I had to do a serious introspection into my thoughts. What was I thinking that was having all these things that I did not want in my life to keep showing up? I was focusing on the negative. I would not make affirmative statements. I'd say " I really hope this date doesn't cancel." Guess what would happen? You guessed correctly if you said the date canceled. I started noticing that pattern, if I think it then it happens. What would happen I thought, "This is going to be the best date ever!" ? Well, it turned out to be the best date ever. I realized that I LITERALLY had to power to sway how things went with my thoughts. I was committed to transforming my life by transforming my thoughts. In order to be successful at that, I had to CREATE a thought process that promoted success, growth, love and positive affirmations.

You may be at a point in your life where things are not going so well for you, and that's okay but what are you thinking? Are you creating and inviting negative thoughts into your space? Are you attracting what you don't want by thinking about what you don't want? Stop doing that then. To make it easier for yourself, get a journal and write down twenty things that you DO want. Once you have written them down, make  few copies and post them in places that you frequent in your house, car, workplace and subconsciously and even consciously you will be seeing your WANTS in an affirmative light. Now, to take it a step further instead of saying these are the things that you want, relate to them as things that you HAVE but you just have not uncovered them yet. Live into your future by OWNING your present. Think as though these are the things already yours. Observe your thoughts and see what shows up for you. Also, I have eliminated words like cannot, try, maybe, hope.....those words are ways for you to wavering in your thought process of ownership of your positive thoughts.

Just as GOD created the world and created YOU and said it was good, you too can do this. Reach in and find the I AM in yourself and CREATE love, light, positivity and everything else that is great, simply by THINKING thoughts that correlate with these things. You are a POWERFUL being. You are a beautiful, whole, complete and capable being who is worthy of having everything you desire. You must first create it within your thoughts. Your beautiful thoughts will give rise to beautiful actions which will produce beautiful results. You can do it. I see the GOD in you.

Want more? Feel free to contact me for a free consultation.

Visit my website at www.purepeacelifecoaching.com to set up an appointment : )

I look forward to hearing from you.

I See God In Me

I see God in me, therefore I see God in you. My relationship with God has always been an interesting one. I always knew that God was real but I just didn't really understand the depth and width of the realness. One day I was walking near a heavily forested area and it was almost as though I saw God. I was all of a sudden overcome by the abundance of all the green around me. I mean the towering trees with all of the leaves, the grass, the shrubs, everything was so alive and abundant. That was moment that I got clear that God is a loving God and anything that we could ever need or want is right at our fingertips because God provides us with more than enough.

God created everyone of us. I relate to God as a woman. God created me in her image and likeness, therefore I am whole, complete and fully capable. God created me and everyone else with love that is unlimited and boundless. When God created us she breathed life into us and we were created with perfection. When we are born all we know is that we are pure and we are a vessels that can carry many things but God wants us to be a vessel of love. As we grow, circumstances and worldly things move us away from our original state of purity and being a vessel of complete love. We step into some self loathing due to outside forces and we lose sight of our true nature. Instead of seeing love we see our shortcomings, flaws and wounds and we relate to ourselves in that way; broken. We tear ourselves down so much, and we have these thoughts that correlate with us being broken and we attract one bad thing after another into our lives. We claim that we are unworthy and  the things that are happening are perhaps justified because we have fallen so far from grace. What? How the heck did this happen?

Recently I have been meditating often and in my meditations I have been asking God to breathe life into me and to continue to guide my thoughts and my actions. Once I really understood that GOD is always in me and working through me that made it easier to do what I am sent here to do. My mission while I am here on this earth is to love unconditionally and to be of service. That is how I must honor God and therefore that is how I see God in me. I see God in me by loving myself with no judgement.I see God in me when I am being of service to someone who needs my assistance and that's when I see God in them. I see people as being whole, complete and fully capable. My job is to support them with seeing themselves that way too.

God doesn't want us to be scared and to have fear. Why? Why fear the one you love? Why fear someone who created you and breathed life into you? God is to be loved and to be respected. I deserve to be loved and respected. You deserve to be loved and respected. God is a wonderful God and a loving God. God sees us as beautiful and perfect creations, we need to see ourselves that way too. God is real. Honor God by loving yourself and others unconditionally. Honor God by being of service to humanity.

I see God in me. I see God in you.

I SEE YOU

When The Masks Come Off

"Strangers stop being strangers once common ground is established. Once common ground is established there leaves room for respect to be earned. Once that respect is earned you soon begin to gain trust. Once trust is established, walls come down. Once walls come down and you're completely vulnerable that is where love begins to grow. Once love takes over, nothing else is needed."

I came up with the above quote because of a special group of people who have stirred my soul and moved me in ways that I never really knew was possible. We are people from diverse backgrounds who not only attracted each other but are constantly healing each other through sharing, words and gestures. The question that I have been asking myself is "How come this type of sharing doesn't occur more in the world?" My guess is that people are scared to take off their masks. Furthermore, I think that some people have worn their masks for so long that they think that's who they really are. What's up with that?

People wear masks to hide their true identities. Some do it playfully, others do it erotically and some really mask because they want to hide. Everyone masks for different reasons. My favorite mask used to be the smile. Even when I was dying on the inside I still wore a smile because I did not want to have to deal with someone getting in my business. The reasons why I was damaged or felt hurt was no one's business and I did not want my wounds exposed. However, looking back, if someone had asked to right questions I think that I would have opened up, but I never gave anyone that opportunity because my smile was a beautiful mask that sent the message "All is well".

Once I began life coaching, teaching and mentoring I discovered that I could see people without their masks, even while they were still on. I could see pain through smiles, raging anger, promiscuity, acting out and anything else they used to protect themselves. I was startled by the fact that so many were running from themselves but the biggest epiphany was when I discovered the reason why I saw their pain so easily; my pain was not healed either. That's when I started working diligently on identifying my own mask. What was I hiding from? What did I think needed protecting? I got clear that I thought that my pain was unique, no one would understand, I would be judged and treated poorly. Once I dismantled that foolish story I was then able to throw my mask away and simply wear my TRUE smile. As a result I can now support other people with shedding their masks and giving them the access to their own freedom by sharing themselves authentically.

The truth is, everyone wants to love, be loved, acknowledged and appreciated. At some point these things were violated and once that happens people retreat and begin to hide. Many of these things occur when we are children. Children are masters at make believe and hiding things. However, children who mask become adults who mask and before we know it we have all these masks but no real faces. However, trust, respect, and love gives life to people's true nature. When people feel like they are loved they will strip down, bare and they will tell all. Telling all brings such a freedom and a depth of personal peace that is indescribable. I encourage all of you to drop your masks and embrace yourself before the mask. Heal thyself.

Dedicated to a group of people who absolutely make taking off my mask so much easier. I love you guys so much.

                    

CLEAN YOUR SPACE

What you do in one place, you do everywhere. I am starting my first ever fast tomorrow and boy am I excited about it. It has been a long time coming and damn, yes it is time. I am doing a five day fast that includes only a drink made of maple syrup, cayenne pepper and lemon juice, otherwise known as the Master Cleanse. Why? Well, in addition to cleaning out all of the toxins and the junk in my body, I am also cleaning out my thoughts and deprogramming my mind and my spirit. It is all connected, mind, body and spirit. Everything works in tandem and in order for me to be in absolute alignment with myself I must prepare on every single level.

To prepare myself for this fast, I started with writing my thoughts down in a journal. When it comes to doing anything that is deemed difficult the FIRST and most important step is to observe your thoughts. Literally, I am sitting down with my journal and I am going to write throughout the day how I am feeling, what thoughts are associated with what emotions and how am I dealing with it. Fasting isn't just something that I want to do to lose weight but I want to get very clear on what goes into my body, my mind and my spirit. My goal once my cleanse is over is to become a vegetarian again. When I was a vegetarian my thoughts seemed much more clear and I was closer to my higher self than ever before because it was not clogged up with any unnecessary toxins and unwanted junk. I am creating a body that is a temple and nothing unhealthy is going to be allowed inside, food, thoughts or anything else that does not serve me.

I am clear that this process is going to change my life forever. This is not just a diet or something that is fun to do but this is a conscious lifestyle change. In addition to eliminating toxic foods, I am also eliminating toxic thoughts and toxic people. It is a MUST to remove the things that do not serve me positively out of my life. I know that this will be easy for me because I am ready. I am ready to fulfill on the being the healer who has healed herself through diligent work on my body, mind and soul. I am committed to my mental, physical and spiritual self and NOTHING is going to compromise that, EVER.

I am a child of the Creator. In order to honor the Creator I must always do my best. That means that as long as I am aware of what I am doing (observing my thoughts) I have no reason not to shine and be extraordinary. I am excited to walk on this journey because it will reveal a lot about my will power, my commitment, my strength and my connection to the Creator. I am sure that I will attract people who are in direct alignment with what I am up to and will support me on my journey. There will always be naysayers and those who will want to give their opinions. I may choose to listen or not. However, what I can say is that I ALWAYS trust my intuition. My intuition is usually always spot on and leads me to choices that are in fact best for me. My journey is mine and mine alone and I will choose to invite some people to walk with me and others will be there to teach me, but that will be MY CHOICE. I am cleaning my space, mental, physical and spiritual.... I hope you choose to do the same.

Soldier of Love

I was actually laying in my bed reflecting, crying and doing my best to heal myself before I chose to write. I am not sure what my fingers will type, or how deep my heart will let me share or how much my soul will let me divulge. However, I suspect that I what I am about to share is really for me, and the beginning of the healing process and the closing of chapters that do not serve me.

I was eleven years old, my mom was away and I was living with relatives. I was in the care of someone who loved me dearly, and always treated me kindly but there was no real direction or guidance. There were two other people who had different roles in my care taking; one for school related issues and the other for what I would call etiquette and life lessons. To me, these two were one in the same and now, looking back I don't really get their perspective on things nor do I agree with their way of doing things. As an eleven year old I had a very inquisitive mind. I read countless amounts of books and I was also a dreamer. So, what I could not get from books or from myself, I would seek from the adults around me. I think the younger generation of Caribbean kids can be my witness when I say that asking certain questions to certain people will get you into trouble. My question to my loving care giver was about babies, not where they came from but what was it like to be pregnant? How did it feel? Was it painful? In today's world that question is normal, back then when I asked, it sent everyone into an uproar. They wanted to know why was I asking such a question? What could I possibly do with that answer? Was I thinking about having a baby? Was I thinking about sex? WHY WOULD I BE ASKING ABOUT PREGNANCY? I was met with such hostility, anger, belittling and sarcasm that I no longer wanted to ask anyone anything about anything. Following my question fiasco I literally felt like I had a scarlet letter on my face. I was treated as though I were this wild, boy crazy prisoner who at a moment's notice would just lay down with a man, have unprotected sex and be pregnant. Yea, that was he beginning of my love affair with poetry. It was the only thing that I could do that would allow me to escape from the harsh words, shady attitudes and the deep loneliness that I had inside of me.

The years progressed and although I was reunited with my mother, I still never overcame my sense of isolation. I longed for my friends who always made me laugh and feel better. The fact that these friends were boys made my mother nervous and suspicious andnever wanted me to talk to them too much because after all, talking leads to pregnancy... My relationship with my mother grew into something volatile, unhealthy and a desire for me to leave and never return. It was based on a lot of speculation from her part and a lot of lying on my part because I didn't want to be in trouble, yet again. There were never any loving sit downs or actual questions of what was wrong, but just endless name calling, accusations, put downs and no place for me as a person to live. What I needed at that time, and really from the time I was 11 years old was someone to trust. Given the question fiasco and several other adults who claimed they were trustworthy but turned out to be absolute liars and any trust I had was all gone. No one was worthy of my trust. My trust had died and the only thing that kept me going was writing poetry.

Flash forward to the present and I am clear that some issues have gotten handled and others not so much. I now have mastery over asking questions. I will ask anybody anything about any topic, no one will ever be able to silence that again. On the flip side, my issues with trust and internalizing are still being worked out. I am clear that my mom did what she thought was best. I am sure these other adults in my life did what they thought was best as well. However, thinking about that really does not solve my issues. What I am constantly working on is MYSELF. I am constantly battling issues of isolation and trust. I am very trustworthy, I am the keeper of many secrets for a lot of people. I take trust very seriously but I do not think that I have been truly trusting with more than two people in my whole life. Trust goes hand in hand with vulnerability. In order for me to bring myself to TRUST someone I have to be willing to be vulnerable with them and that is something that I am working on diligently. In order for me to be as authentic as possible, I must be willing to put it all on the table. The biggest thing that I have to keep telling myself is that I am safe. I AM SAFE. I stopped feeling safe when I was 11. I stopped feeling protected when I had do defend my innocent questions against people's perverted minds. I had to fend for myself and protect myself so I withdrew and I hid behind my poems and I built walls around myself so high that even right now I am still processing what I did. Trust and vulnerability is about feeling safe.

As a life coach, not only is it my mission but it is my DUTY to ensure that my clients feel safe. They come to me for answers but in order for us to unlock those answers we must dig and digging can reveal some nasty wounds. Once people crack those wounds open, the tears come because the unleashing of the original hurt is fresh. I myself, even now typing this my tears flow because I still have some healing to do. I have to keep reminding myself that I AM SAFE. Not only am I safe but I am protected. I am protected because I can say what is so for me. I can say that I closed myself off as a child and continued building walls because I did not want anyone to get close enough to hurt me. I also realize that by keeping people at a distance that I am not allowing them to see a very young, hurt me, vulnerable me, I entombed my little 11 year old self inside of these enormous, stone walls, barricaded by steel, barbed wire and every thing else because I was protecting myself. In 2012 and all the other years to come I am committed to giving myself the space and opportunity to heal by allowing people to see me.

"Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now."

That is me. No, that was me because starting now I am going to give love and energy to me the same way that  I give it to people. I am always reachable and accessible to my people when they need me, but very seldom to I reach out when I am in need. I have poured all of my energy into developing my company and being the best mom possible that I have completely lost all sight of me, me TAHIRA. What is it that I want? What do I need? That is another blog for another day. I am declaring that I will be breaking 11 year old Tahira out of those walls and freeing her. I am freeing myself from that way of being which includes hiding, not allowing myself to be taken care of, not allowing myself to be protected and not allowing people to be there for me. I am so done with that. I am also tired of it. I have loving, beautiful people in my life who are more than willing to accommodate me, I just really have to ask.

I left my little 11 year old self in a little corner, scared, sad, hurt and alone. I left my little self for dead because I allowed some negative nancies to kill my spirit. Today, I bring myself back. I will ask for what I need. I am safe. I am not hurt. No one can steal my joy of take my sadness because I am a solider of love, yes I am. I am and I will always be. I am still alive. I am stronger than ever.

I am a SOLIDER OF LOVE....