Tuesday, December 14, 2010


I often wonder what people mean when they say that they love someone more than themselves. I wouldn't want someone to love me more than they love themselves because that love must certainly be questionable. Loving oneself is the greatest gift you can ever give yourself. Loving yourself frees you from tolerating nonsense and standing up for yourself. Loving yourself allows you to be real with yourself and others without hesitation even if it means loving the people from a distance.

This year was one that changed my life forever. I got married, had my first child, started my own company and let go of two people who I was once very close to. I am not ashamed to say that I love these two people but life has taken us to separate life journeys. I have no problem moving away from friendships that are no longer age appropriate nor mentally fulfilling. I can't speak for them but having a child has opened my eyes to the kind of people I want in my life and the people that I don't. It's as simple as that. I hold no hard feelings, no malice, no harm intended but some people I choose to love from a distance and that is okay with me.

How many times have people made you feel guilty for making a choice that's best for you but not necessarily best for them? They can feel however they want but YOU have to remember that you're the star player in your life and you must look out for your best interest. Whether it's choosing to leave a relationship, friendship or job if you're not happy you have to make the move that will allow your bliss to flow. Staying in any situation that makes you unhappy or uncomfortable cannot possibly end well. Neither party appreciates being jerked around, and as much as parting ways may hurt at the time it is probably best for everyone. Keep in mind that people get hurt and they will say things from that place that are truthful for them. I was told that my love is conditional, I make rules but don't play by them, I'm a hypocrite, I don't really know what love is and plenty more. What I've taken away from those opinions is that they are just that, opinions. Did they hurt? Yes! Was I upset? Yes! Did I vent about it? Yes! Did it break me? No!!!! Hell no!! What it did was allow me to take a look at myself from their point of view. I admit that I have a way about me that can occur as cold and unwilling to check myself if you're looking for it to be like that. However, what is the truth and what will never change is that I love my friends dearly and I will do anything for them. However, once I evaluate a friendship and it seems one sided or something is gone that cannot be replaced nor retrieved I bow out. I bow out in peace and wish them the best. Contrary to their beliefs I'm very critical of myself and I take a long hard meditation to fully grasp the situation. Things don't always go the way I want them to, I don't always say things with the most amount of compassion but the love is always there. Always!!

I shared about me so openly because there is freedom in it. I love myself and I love the person I have become and I'm never afraid to say that. I hope all my readers will also do the same by facing yourself and not being afraid to discover the parts of yourself that need polishing but you love you anyway. If you guys can practice loving yourself, flaws and all you'll have an easier time walking away from situations that you no longer want to be a part of. I'll say it again, you have to love you more than you love anyone else in order to be a truly unconditional lover. We only have one life to live and to love. Why would you want to waste it being miserable and uncomfortable? We shouldn't. Love others but love you more.

Want practice in loving yourself?

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  1. Wow, Loving yourself and others is indeed hard for some. I'm at a place where I'm really focusing on Loving ME today. It's not always easy. Others wont understand our way of loving sometimes when we speak truth. People want cheerleaders, someone to cheer them on in thier mess. I wont do it. I had to hear the truth and I can say that those that told me LOVED me. And I'm grateful that they cared enough to tell me the truth. And because I know they loved me I was able to receive it better. God's love is unconditional. It looks beyond the errors of our ways and seeks to make our lives abundant. We must love others as God loves us. And YES love ourselves as well. When you think about it NO one will ever LOVE you like YOU will. The word LOVE means something different to us all. My favorite LOVE is AGAPE love. Unconditional it never falter or cease. its selfless. whether the Love returns or not its real..This is the love God has for us....I know one thing for sure I love my children, grandchildren and my family. Thanks for sharing!!

  2. Wow...This is really right on time and is down to the letter what I needed to hear. I'm leaving a friendship I thought would last forever because we need entirely separate things right now. I want to be selfish right now and take care of my wants and desires and she wants to be supported and taken care of to the utmost extent of the word. And while I love her and prays that she gets that, I can't and won't sacrifice my needs right now to play that role. And at first it hurt, then I fell to acceptance. But acceptance worried me because she had said I didn't care about her and only thought of myself. And that hurt because I do think of other people and have been known to put them first so often that I break down (hence my need to be selfish right now). But as you said: It can't break me. It may hurt, but it's opinion and I know my truth. I LOVE my family. I LOVE my God. I LOVE myself. I LOVE. And though loving her from a distance will be new, it needs to happen. This post was just right on time. Thank you!