Vulnerability

To be vulnerable, is to give someone access to the things that make you cry, freak out, and make you uncomfortable. I think that to give someone this access can give you a huge amount of freedom because you would finally be able to share very openly and truthfully. However, getting to that point of absolute vulnerability requires a significant amount of self work and a worthy person. I have NOT been very vulnerable with many people in my life. I had a belief that once someone else knows what makes me breakdown they would use it against me. My fear of sharing my real self was greater than connecting 100% with someone. I realize now, that in hindsight that wasn't the best move. However, I also was not in a place where I even knew how to share myself openly. I would always be the listening ear, and the go to person for all things personal but I would never share. How could I? After all, no one would understand.

What was I so scared of? Why are people so scared to share and be open? I know that I just couldn't bear to have have my vulnerabilities being in someone elses' possession. I could not imagine sharing my secrets with someone. Instead, I would deflect and side step deep emotions and I would hide behind fake arguments, tears about one thing but they were really about  something deeper but I did not have the guts to share. I believe that many people have the same issues as me, they just don't want to put themselves out there to be hurt. That is extremely understandable and at some point everyone feels that way, no one wants their secrets to be used against them. Therefore people close up and they share partly, but not fully. As a result we have many people walking around in relationship giving 60% or 30% or even 20% of themselves and missing out on something amazing by not sharing fully.

What can be done here? What did I do? I got present to the fact that by NOT sharing myself wholly and completely that I was missing out on some BIG love. I was missing out because I was too busy protecting myself from sharing and therefore I was pushing important people away. I got very clear that in order to have the life of my dreams I would have to strip down with myself first. Ask myself, what on earth was I hiding? What was I hiding from? Who was I hiding from? Of course the answer is me. I was not being real with myself. I wasn't facing my own demons and my own nasty things that I was unwilling to deal with. I figured that if anyone found out my secrets I would be unloved and I would be discarded like garbage. Again, I did not think I would be worthy of all the love in the world if I was even a little bit broken. No one would love something broken, no one. Finally, I woke up. I thought about all the people who I love that come to me when they are broken. I love them more, broken pieces and all because that is what they deserve. People deserve to be held, listened to, acknowledged and LOVED when they are at their worst. I was and am ALWAYS willing to do that for someone. I just did not think that anyone would do it for me. That, right there is the highest degree of self loathing and lack of self love. I needed to break out of that habit immediately.

MY happiness does not occur outside of me. No one can make me happy, sad, mad or glad without my permission. I had to get very clear that I was worthy of everything that I wanted and in order to have deep, meaningful, long lasting relationships I would have to be absolutely vulnerable with those in my life. I had to be willing to put it all on the table and even risk being hurt but the reward is so much greater than ANY amount of pain. The reward would be a love so deep and profound that it would move me to tears by just the thought. So for all my clients looking for love or wondering why their relationships aren't working, I urge them to check themselves. Check yourself meaning be real and open with yourself. Get to the source of your pain, fear, anger, sadness and anything else that would make you hide from meaningful relationships. Open yourself up, and allow love to flow from you so that it can flow into you. You are so worthy of a beautiful love, and it starts first with loving yourself. That there is the key to every successful relationship.

Tahira West

PurePeaceLC@gmail.com
201-500-7146
Facebook: www.facebook.com/purepeacelifecoaching
Twitter: @PurePeaceLC

Why I Chose Life Coaching

I feel. That's what I do, I feel my way through life. What that means is that I think with my heart, I consult with my mind but I think with my heart. In everything that I do I am lead to a my final answer by the way that I feel. I felt lead to heal people. I know that a part of my gifts is to heal. I have healing power in me and since I have no desire to be a doctor, I chose a path that made sense for me.

What is life coaching, anyway? I'm not sure what the standard definition is but for me, to be a life coach is to give people the freedom to be comfortable in their own skin. I do that by listening for their greatness when they speak to me. A person doesn't have to be a client for me to listen to their greatness. Every person who I come into contact with is an opportunity for me to give them love. When someone is speaking to me, seeking some answers I'm also getting in tuned with their spirit. I do that by getting their perspective so that it also becomes my perspective. In order for me to truly get a sense of their world I must truly walk in their shoes. What that opens up for me is an overflowing amount of compassion and a commitment to bring this person to a place of Pure Peace and self love.

I am a rigorous coach. Although I am very compassionate I have a commitment to making sure that my client's goals are accomplished. The sessions are one hour long, but they are also given homework. Homework sounds funny, it's more life life altering work. The key to accomplishing a goal is to make sure there is a plan and follow through. If the extra work is done between calls then real progress will be made. There is no way I can take someone's money and watch them sabotage themselves by not doing the work. Accepting a life coach is a serious commitment and it requires a high level of commitment. I have an initial conversation with a client and I tell them to call me in one week. Why one week? It gives them time to be comfortable with their choice and to make sure they are making a good one. Once I get the call, the work begins.

Life coaching is so much more to me than just a job. It is a beautiful blessing in my life. It gives me the space to be with people in a way that I allows me access to their vulnerability and vice versa. On my calls with my clients, the level of love and passion that is shared is incredible. I love what I do. In addition to this being a dream job, it also allows me the space to raise my daughter in a way that I choose. Working a 9-5 does not fit into my parenting schedule. It never will. My daughter's time is the most important time in this world. When I'm not coaching, I am parenting. Also, because my clients are on the phone or via Skype, I am still readily available to her. It's a win win all around.

Life coaching is my passion. My goal is to bring peace to those who are conflicted, freedom to those who feel trapped, and love to those who feel unloved. This brings me utmost joy and that's why I can do what I do with absolute ease and confidence. I am happy and free, everyone should have that too. I am committed to bringing happiness and freedom to everyone I know. That's my contribution to the world.

Tahira West

C.E.O

Pure Peace Life Coaching

201-500-7146
PurePeaceLC@gmail.com

Let It Go

I am learning a lot about myself and the more I learn is the more I appreciate the person I have become. I am getting to the source of my anger towards certain people. What keeps coming up is that I am not really angry but deeply hurt. I don't think I have any new pain but just wounds that have never healed from a long time ago. I also learn that I keep those wounds really fresh. There is a part of me that is addicted to my pain and my suffering. I've had these wounds for so long that they have become a part of me that I cannot live without. That needs to change.

The biggest part of my healing will come from me letting go of these painful memories that reoccur constantly. When anything in my life doesn't go as plan, I contribute it to something from my past that needs to get complete. I just have not been willing to do the work. I know that having conversations with certain people will free me from this emotional prison I have put myself in but I have yet to work up the courage to do so. I know what I need to do and I'm committed to doing it but I am scared. I have a fear that I will say what I have to say and I will be met with animosity, more pain and rejection. Oddly enough a part of me will be just fine with that. I realize though that just by me writing this I am a step closer to my freedom.

I realize that in order to be the most effective life coach, I must take my own coaching. I cannot effectively coach in closure, and completion until I master these things first. I am committed to my own personal growth and healing. I am clear that once I get free and clear of those things lurking in my past I will be able to be truly live the life that I want. That alone makes my heart smile.

The life that I will have once my painful past is complete will be a life filled with the right to be happy and not having to wonder if what I'm experiencing is too good to be true. I will be able to be present to my blessings, my joy and my happiness and I will relish in those moments. Life is too good to consumed by my past pains, it's just a slap in the face to my present and my present is in fact a gift. The best gift in the entire world.

I want the same freedom that I want for myself to everyone that I come into contact with. It's so sad to live a life holding on to a grudge or not willing to forgive. Anytime we choose not to forgive we are only destroying ourselves. Not forgiving is like holding on to a fire, waiting to burn the person who hurt you but in the mean time you are burning yourself up. Why? For what? Let your past go, leave it there and live your present powerfully.

Tahira

Phone: (201)500-7146
Email:PurePeaceLC@gmail.com
Facebook:www.facebook.com/purepeacelifecoaching
Twitter:@PurePeaceLC

OWN YOUR HAPPINESS

"Something Like Beautiful" the poignant novel by asha bandele has been a hot topic between a friend and I. asha talks openly about her pain from lost relationships, losing her own sense of self, managing money to make ends meet and being the best parent possible to her child. Many women deal with these issues very silently. We work hard, but grieve harder by ourselves, late at night, in our beds and crying our eyes out. We choose to wear cookie cutter smiles but our eyes give our pain away to those who truly know us. They may inquire if they are bold enough, but we always respond with that same answer, "I am just tired." However, even though being tired isn't a lie, the level of tiredness goes deeper than perhaps even we know. The level of sadness when we as women are mourning when we feel like we have lost ourselves is a monumental. Especially when we know that we have children to take care of, we put their needs first, we take care of them and even the people close to us, we give of ourselves to a fault. We wear ourselves out and expend all of our energy until we have nothing left but tears, pain and memories of dreams we once believed would come true.

Why do we do this? What causes us to hide from ourselves? Why do we lie to ourselves? My guess is that we are deeply ashamed of our blunders. We examine our lives and wonder, what on earth happened here? How did I stray so far from my goal? Well, what happened is that we were out of integrity with ourselves. At some point we started putting off the goals that we set for ourselves by lying, making ourselves tired and giving up on our goals, dreams, hopes and ambitions. We settle for second best knowing that we deserve to be first. We cater to men who do not deserve us. We self sabotage and then point the fingers at others to somehow soften the blow of selling out on ourselves. Eventually because we forgot how to relate to ourselves as Goddesses and Queens we settle for the treatment not even fit for peasants and we cry really hard about it. We feel sorry for ourselves. We start to hate on other women for no reason because perhaps she has the body that you always wanted, but never allowed yourself to have. We hate men because they have treated us badly, dishonored us and threw us away. However, what we never, ever, ever say to ourselves is "I allowed it." No one can do anything to you that you do not give them permission to do. We start with tiny bits of compromising and soon enough that turns into a us giving up on the person who we really want to be, and for what? To cry alone in bed at night throwing the biggest pity party ever? GIMME A BREAK!!!!

As women we have a very high threshold for pain. We are built for war, there is no doubt about that. What we need to start doing is appreciating ourselves. I don't mean just saying it, but doing it. Take time to see where you are. Take an honest inventory of your life and see what parts you keep and what parts you throw away. Do not keep anything that doesn't serve you and that includes people, things, habits and patterns. We are worth everything great under the sun but you have to honestly believe that. You have to be clear that your life won't work the way you need it to work until you are honest with yourself. The honesty may be brutal, it may even be painful but at least you will know the truth about yourself. Until you clean out the junk and the muck that has accumulated in your space you will be putting pearls on a pile of shit. That we all know is counter productive. Strip down bare, naked, vulnerable, hold nothing back and just be open with yourself. What do you see? Who do you see?

Life is yours for the taking and the living. Live it powerfully. Leave the grief, sadness and the pain at the door. Leave your past at the door and your future in the future. Focus on the present. The present is a gift and it is the perfect opportunity to create something beautiful for yourself. I cannot tell you what it will take to make you happy. I don't know what you need, nor will I ever know and no one but you will either. You have decide what is more important to you, a life filled with grief or a life well spent even if you had to start over in the middle? Every moment is an opportunity for you to start your life anew. You have to be willing to do it. No one is going to make you as happy as you can make yourself. Take the time to work on yourself and invest in yourselves too. You are worth it. You are as Goddess and a Queen and you deserve nothing short of royalty. Own your happiness. Own it!!

If you are interested in unlocking some of the gems inside of you and you are seriously ready to invest in yourself drop me a line.

Tahira West
201-500-7146
PurePeaceLC@gmail.com
www.facebook.com/purepeacelifecoaching
@PurePeaceLC  on Twitter

JUST START

 WOOOO....Talk about a long hiatus. It has almost been a year since I have blogged. The truth is that I have been hiding from myself and from you too. My life literally got turned upside down and I just had no idea how to deal with it, and was not ready to communicate it to anyone, and I was not even saying what was so for me out loud.
        
What happened? I had a few key relationships in my life fall apart and because I made those failed relationships mean that I failed, I was a failure, and that I was broken I acted as such. I did not do much with myself this year. All the beautiful goals, dreams, ambitions and desires that  I had, I let them go. I lost sight of them, I lost sight of myself and as a result I was sad more often than I wanted to be. I didn't keep my word with my closest friends, I did not fulfill on my greatness. I hid behind the excuses of parenting, tiredness and no time for life. The truth was that I was so broken that I did not know how to put myself back together. In addition to being sad, I made myself wrong for being sad. I would reach out to friends a little bit but I did not share with them the depth of my pain and my sadness. I just couldn't. I couldn't share with the people closest to me because I was ashamed that my life had failed. I made up that if I failed it meant that I was unworthy of my joy. I did something to destroy my happiness and therefore I was being punished and I deserved it.
                
How crazy was I? After my pastor's poignant sermon this past Sunday I realized that I was stuck. However, she had the perfect cure for my stuckness, she said "Just Start." Two simple words that meant everything to me. Just Start doing what I needed to do in order to fulfill on my greatness. Just start talking to people about my my business so that it can grow. Just start putting pen to paper and creating a program that will undoubtedly change public schools forever. Just start sharing my power, love and happiness with the people in my life so that they are CLEAR that who I am is the possibility of abundant love, power and freedom. My life is mine for the making. It is mine for creating. It is mine to make the best of it and to do it well. I just needed to start.

In 2012 I plan on working harder than I have ever worked in my life. I am going to grow my business by leaps and bounds because my word is powerful and I ALWAYS get what I want. I am also committed to making people's lives brighter. I want FREEDOM for every single mom, woman, girl, man...any person who thinks that they have nothing to offer, I want to show them that they matter and they are capable of any and everything.I want to show them that they are beautiful and fully capable of having anything that they want. I want to inspire people who think that the world doesn't want them. I want to inspire women who think that they are unlovable. I want to work with men who think that they are broken and who think they have nothing to offer. I want to work with children who have been damaged by the world. I WILL work with them, bring them to the light and give them not only a Purely Peaceful frame of mind but FREEDOM to simply be comfortable in their own skin. This is why I do the work that I do...giving people the RIGHT to be comfortable in their OWN SKIN!!!!!!

I am back. I am back to bring you inspirational blogs. I am back to bring joy back into your life by my inspirational words. I am back on my mission to BUILD MY EMPIRE and NOTHING is going to stop me. I am the possibility of ABUNDANT LOVE, FREEDOM and FIERY PASSION. I am WHOLE, COMPLETE, CAPABLE and WORTHY of having everything that I desire.

With Love,


Tahira West


C.E.O


Pure Peace Life Coaching

The People United Will Never Be Defeated!!!!

Yes, it is so true that if the masses were to come together as a unified body, we would get what we wanted. It is a proven fact that when people move as a group more gets done. This applies to everything from healing wounds to overthrowing a government. In the past week Egyptians of all ages have over taken the streets to protest the long time reign of their president. They want a change and they are going to have their voices be heard no matter what the cost, some went as far as lighting themselves on fire. Now, that is serious.

Why is this topic relevant to life coaching? Well, most of my clients have a consistent complaint about one thing or the other. Actually, it isn't just my clients but it is basically everyone I know, myself included. In NYC the persistent complaint currently is about the fare hike affecting all NYC strap-hangers.  The fare has for a monthly metro card has gone from $81 to $104. That is a huge increase, affecting everyone who rides the subway, many people have sounded off on it, but there was no real action taken around STOPPING the increase. I get that the MTA created some venues for the citizens to voice their concerns, however considering that they created the meeting and they chose the venue and the panel was all of their employees what does that sounding do? What does it change? Clearly nothing because the fare still went up. What else could have been done? Well, the masses outweigh the MTA bigwigs. If we don't ride the trains and the buses and the subway drivers and the bus drivers refuse to drive, guess what happens? NYC will come to a stand still and these bigwigs will have to think twice about messing with the hard working people of the city.

 Complaints are forever a part of life, but the complaints can turn into action for almost every area of life. You cannot wait for someone else to give you the answer, you have to be the answer. If you;re waiting for someone to rally the troops and you're getting agitated while waiting, then we have been waiting for you. If the tolls are way too high, then as a public we stop paying the tolls by not driving. Yes, it may hurt our pockets for a moment, yes we may not be able to get to work for a while but the complaint will no longer be there because as a PEOPLE the issue will have gotten resolved.

The people on this planet are all connected by love and there is freedom in love. The citizens of every country should be able to maintain a livable wage, and there should not be any signs of poverty anywhere on this planet. Leaders in every country should be able to take pay cuts so that its citizens can be free and at peace. That said, Egypt...I am with you. I respect what you are doing and I hope you get what you need.

POWER TO THE PEOPLE!!!!