Monday, November 8, 2010

Who Are You?

This question has been answered by me several times over the past twenty something years. Each time I had something new to add to my resume. I used to think that things, or a job or a degree defined me. However, only when I actually started doing real work on myself did I discover that who I am is me. All I can ever be is me and that is the most comfortable and truthful answer that there is. 

Recently I became a mommy or as my girl Andrene said I am a part of the largest sorority out there, Mama Kappa Mama. Although I am me, me is my family. My daughter and husband have made me a mommy and a wife. I am no longer in the fairytale of my mind and can wake up and be a single bachelorette any more. I am those things in real life and I love it. 

Being a wife varies for every woman I am sure. The experience is one in a lifetime for me. My marriage is a partnership filled with sacrifices, negotiations, planning, work, fun, big, big, big love, passion, intrigue, yearning and overall excitment and strong spirit led cohesiveness. I guess one can learn how to be a good wife but I wouldn't recommend reading a book or anything. However, take your marriage step by step, day by day and communicate everything that you are feeling, thinking, thinking about thinking and things should go smoothly, even when they don't, they will as long as you can effectively COMMUNICATE. It's okay to seek outside advice when both parties agree or if one of you needs clarity to move you guys forward...not to gossip. What you should never do is go to ANY single person for married people advice. I don't care if it's your best friend, a single person cannot advise you on marital issues, they can't. 

I've been a mommy for eleven days now and it's been a great but trying experience. The joy of seeing Jendayi smile is unexplainable. The smile accompinied by her wide eyes is just breathtaking. When I look at her, I see a mirror. She is the creation that my husband and I made from love. We didn't plan for her because we knew she would come. We knew she would show up and bless us with her beautiful bold spirit and we accepted it. I can't help but stare at her because Jendayi is me. She literally has my face, the same face I had as a baby and it's just incredible. Being a mommy to her has made me more cautious and more observant of the people around me. I know all of the people who are here in her life are here for a reason. There are a few people who are not in her life and I'm glad because they come with their baggage and their drama. I don't want that near my baby. I realize that I was a mama lion when she was in the womb but now that she's out I'm not just mama lion, I a mama lion who is ready to pounce on anybody who even thinks about getting out of pocket with my baby girl. The stories on the news scare me. I hear the stories about the pain little kids go through at the hands of their own parents and I'm horrified. Or the family members who take advantage of newborns. Like I said though...mama lion! 

So who am I ? I am me. Me is mommy. Me is wife. I am many other things but I enjoy mommy and I enjoy wife. Life is grand and wonderful. I'm grateful for the chance to be both. I'm doing a great job. My husband and daughter make it easy. I give thanks for this opportunity. 

Thank you Jendayi and Jason. 

Thank you Creator.

No comments:

Post a Comment